Of Two Minds

.....Or   Merry Fuckin' Christmas
                                                                                             

Yesterday was difficult. 
I could not get drunk enough. 
Even on the best days I don't get Christmas
 as it's celebrated  with it's
Coke Santa and shopping.

Psychologically it's healthier to align with the winter solstice energy and allow what no longer serves you to die.

 My Big Self get's that and that is how I live my life for the most part, but my Small Self doesn't think it's fair that as the Grandmother I'm not part of the celebration.

I have been having very technical dreams and when I woke up this morning I felt GREAT!  I couldn't remember the dream beyond a bit of quick images of the schematic.

The "Q" have worked on me for years.  They are always tinkering with my brain.  I really don't blame my family for thinking I've gone over the edge.   It's difficult for me also to keep up too.

This morning my face had fallen on the right side even more, but I felt so calm I didn't pay attention.  Though I'm sure a half bottle of Merlot didn't help.

I just got back from walking to refill my water jugs.  It has the dual purpose of getting exercise.   I just don't drive anymore and sometimes I've walked across the street with traffic coming that I just "didn't see".   My life is small and predictable these days.
The walks are a good time to chit chat with "Q".  So I asked "What was going on in my dreams last night?"    At first "Q" acknowledged that they were pleased with the new persona.  They are curious and do not know all the answers so they enjoy having a wrench thrown into their plans.  To them it's like they have been playing 3 dimensional chess and some of the pieces on the board started looking up at them.

"Q" said they were Gene Splicing.  This will allow my physical body to transition to a Reality of a different vibration.  A lot has already been done over the years.  Little bits at a time otherwise my body could not handle it.

They added that an economic turn down is being slipped in because holding too  much stuff weighs down the soul. It's not that things are bad, but if they are used to fill an emotional hole they neither fill that hole or allow the soul to grow.
Things that hold memories "hold" your soul to an illusionary time line.
KISS...Keep It Simple Stupid.

I've found a couple online tarot readers who seem to tap into the story.  I always go to Sal if I want to know what's going on.   There is another story line that hasn't been brought up yet.